The Detroit Lions last won a game in Green Bay in 1991. Twenty-four years. That’s a long time.
To put in perspective how long of a streak this was, it’s the sort of streak you say, “Yeah, the last time this happened, Bush was in office...” and you have to append with, “I mean, the first one.”
For many readers, the question, “Where were you the last time this happened?” can be answered with, “Christ, I wasn’t even a gleam in my father’s eye then.” There are kids finishing graduate school seeing a Lions win in Wisconsin for the very first time.
But what really would make this a Deadspin story (I’d think), was that it wasn’t even a “good” win. It wasn’t like everything came together on one magical afternoon for a 1-7 team against a team that (at that point) had been in a tie for the division lead.
No, the Lions were awful. They did everything in their power to lose that game in typical Lions fashion. Prater shanked two extra points. Stafford threw a pick in the red zone. They made repeated trips to the goal line an adventure. Calvin Johnson even gave his best Brandon Bostick impression, doinking the onside kick off his shoulder to give the Packers the ball at midfield with Green Bay trailing by two and a half minute on the clock.
But, somehow, the Packers managed to play even worse. It was like watching two people desperately trying to give away a fruitcake at a family Christmas. Despite Detroit doing everything in their power to give the game away, the Packers absolutely refused to take it. From dropping a pass on a 2-point conversion that would have tied the game, to horribly missing what would have been the game winning FG with seconds remaining, Green Bay looked every bit as awful as a team that had dropped three straight should look.
It was a train wreck of a game, and ended with something notable despite the disaster of a performance from both sides. It feels like a story right up Deadspin’s alley.